(The picture is from a photoshoot for Lula Le Bon that I did whilst I was still living in London)
Hi! I’ve been contemplating the future of the blog for a long time now – as you have probably noticed. For a long time I’ve had this feeling in my stomach every time I go on to update the blog and I haven’t been able to even look at it. I’m not sure why. I guess with everything that happened it just felt like more stress than it was worth even though I used to love blogging. I spoke with a friend a while ago and she urged me to get back on to writing. I thought about it. Then I thought about starting to write about something completely different. I guess about something more personal. However, it would have to be anonymous and I don’t think I’d want that at the end of the day.
Today I opened my blog for the first time – mainly because it was time to renew my subscription – in almost a year and I saw some recent comments wondering whether I was going to come back to the blog. The truth is I’m not sure I will but I thought you’d at least deserve some closure after 8(!) years. I think for the time being I might post when I feel like it but I’m not going to start it the same way I was doing before. I don’t want to make it a chore and I have been too busy living to live through the blog that I haven’t even wanted to spend my time on the laptop.
So what’s happened in the past year then? Since the last post I’ve travelled loads. I’ve been to Germany, Egypt, Finland, Amsterdam and New York and I’m going to Switzerland, Kosovo and Albania next week Sunday, then Paris in October and Canary Islands in November. I still have to decide where to go in December. I have also moved out of London to Southwest England. I started a new training post within the English National Health Service and I’m training and working as a low intensity CBT therapist (officially Psychological Wellbeing Practitioner). I’ve started dancing salsa again and I’ve absolutely loved it. I became a permanent resident of the United States of America finally and I’m studying for the GREs in order to get into graduate school so I might be moving to U.S. in a year. But I think the most importantly I feel happy. I feel like my life is where I want it to be in this moment and I have amazing things to look forward to. Since moving to Exeter I’ve made amazing friends, I’ve found salsa again, I’m doing a job that I absolutely love, I have my own little (rental) studio flat and I love where I live, Exeter is beautiful and even though it’s small and quiet I feel I have more to do here than I did in London. Mainly because everyone and everything is close so it’s easy to do. I do miss London every now and again and especially my friends there but I’m also happy here and I’m ready for new adventures.
I also feel that I’ve learnt a lot about myself and I’m becoming the person that I want to become and I’m also happy with the sides of me that may not be as great. I’ve learnt to accept my flaws and also other people’s. I’ve learnt I can be happy, I have learnt to be more open, positive and spontaneous. I’ve learnt to balance living in the present moment with looking to the future. I still have days that aren’t that great and that I question my life – especially my relationships – but for the most part I’m ok with that too. Kyle and I are in a good place and we have an understanding. Neither of us is rushing to get back into anything and I don’t know if that happy couple will ever be us again but I’m so happy to have him in my life. So there. A year doesn’t really fit into one post but who knows maybe I’ll post again soon.
In the meantime thank you for all of your support over the years and the beautiful comments that I have received!
Hei! En ole päättänyt palaanko blogin pariin, mutta palaan tai en, en aio kirjoittaa enää suomeksi. Se tuntuu jotenkin tosi hankalalta ja aikaa vievältä. Pahoittelut niille lukijoille, jotka mieluummin lukisivat suomeksi tekstejä.